EPISODE 1: ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY

As co-lead-singer with the shame of Merthyr Tydfil - The Blackout, Sean Smith has seen the world, a million faces and he's rocked them all. He has also suffered his fair share of prejudice, with many along the way quick to ridicule his hair, his accent, his singing, his band, his songwriting, the company he keeps, his face and his band.

Through it all, Sean has maintained a dignified silence, focusing his energies on his music. Until now. In the summer of 2012, with a lull in The Blackout's calendar and his SKY+ all but watched, Sean sought an outlet. Conveniently, the offer of a small presenting job appeared, and, appealing as it did to Sean's modest ego, he took it. And so began a journey Sean could previously never have imagined taking... A journey into television... Online television.

EPISODE 2: WHEN IN ROME...

Where does the time go? It seems that only a fortnight ago Sean Smith was the bed-wetting infant of online television - dripping-wet and looking to point the blame at someone else. To see him today, the red-faced, bathroom-door-locking teenager of the web, you would hardly recognise the two as one and the same. With hair in new places, soiled sheets airing for all the world to see and a mouth that would make a sailor weep, the boy is making assured strides towards manhood.

Sean is now dining at the high table of conversation - gorging on the rich, meaty anecdotal offerings of the great and the good, and simply put, it looks like he's right where he belongs.

Sean Smith - Television presenter? Well, if the shoe fits...

EPISODE 3: THE FALL OF ROME

Fuck me, look at the state of this fucking show... Look at the state of you?

My name is Sean. Smith. If your finger is remotely on the pulse you should know me from such internet hits as 'Episode 1' and 'Episode 2' of seansmithsucks.tv.

I got into this telly game to give something back - To help you poor bastards out, with your horrible hair and your terrible faces; And I'm sorry it's take so long, but after paying my dues and riding through those first two shit-storm shows with not even a hair out of place, the powers-that-be have finally seen fit to hand the reigns over to yours fucking truly - The Double S.

So, here's where it starts. Here's where I talk, and you listen. Here's where you were a prick, and here's where you're less of a prick. Here's where some stuff happened, and here's where some stuff changed. Here... Sean... Reigns.  

EPISODE 4: I HAD RATHER BE A DOG, AND BAY AT THE MOON, THAN SUCH A ROMAN

Last weeks episode highlighted a few things to any and all who saw it. Not only did we bear witness to Sean's monumental ignorance and, by extension, the gross failings of the South Wales schooling system, but also an oversight on our part - the Producers of the show. 

You see, some people are born to drive the bus - The Driver knows where the bus is going, the Driver is aware of others both on board and on the road, and the Driver knows when to press the breaks should the need arise. Sean is not one of these people. 

Others are born to be passengers - Ignoring the signs to give up their seats to infirm or pregnant passengers, drawing cocks on the back of seats and old people's heads, and generally being self-involved rotters amused by nothing more sophisticated than the scent and viscosity of their own excretions. Sean is one of these people.  

As Producers we allowed Sean to 'drive the bus', and for that we owe the internets our unreserved 'apologies'. 

But...

If the bus still has places to go, it will need a Driver... Enter an old friend - 'All aboard - Those heading... TO HELL!'